It's Christmas. No Stress. No Pressure. Ask Oren...

Here we go, or here we have gone...the holidays are upon us.  Many of us are running around feeling super stressed, getting angry easily, feeling pushed into a corner and find ourselves growling through the holidays.  Why is that?  For some reason the holiday season ramps up the pressure.  What is that about?  Let's ask ourselves this question and listen to the answer -- "What is this pressure I feel?"  Really, what is it?  It is a good thing to know the answer -- it can change attitudes and relieve that sense of being out of balance. 

Maybe you can identify with one or two thoughts on this list. I tried to cover most of the feelings I have heard expressed and some I've experienced myself: 

Forms of holiday pressure:

• I have too much to do and I can't get everything done in time.
• It is Christmas and if I don't give them the right gifts, I look bad.
• It is Christmas and if they don't get the right gifts, they will be unhappy.
• It is Christmas and I know I should be celebrating, but, please -- stop talking and ring up my purchases -- I can't wait forever.
• It is Christmas and even though I can't stand my (name any family member), I have to be nice and put up with him/her.
• It is Christmas and I don't have anyone special to share it with.
• Why do I always have to do everything?
• I don't have enough money to buy expensive gifts...but if I don't, people will think I am cheap or don't know the difference.
• It's Christmas and everything has to be perfect.

OK, by now, you are probably seeing the "I" word in every single stressed out thought listed above.  My question...why do we do this to ourselves?  It certainly isn't in the spirit of Christmas -- you remember that, don't you, good will, generosity, peace, love, faith, generosity?

You know what, this year, the holiday season is all about the real things for me.  What do I want to give?  Good will.  Alrighty then... that's a big goal.  So what does that look like?  I posted a quote on my personal facebook page that sort of describes it and want to share it here, too. Take a look.  Of course, I will be giving tangible gifts, but I am putting the qualities on this list at the top of my list for the whole season...and beyond: 

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. -- Oren Arnold

These gifts don't come wrapped in pretty paper.  They come wrapped in the love of your heart; the ability to genuinely love others and... "appreciate yourself". 

How to do that?  Breathe; take your time; don't spend over your budget; take some time off -- away from work (even a few hours and go to your favorite relaxing place and sit for awhile with a good book...or Kindle :); decide, (yes, decide), that you won't react negatively.

Here's more...plan a simple holiday meal and ask for help -- don't martyr yourself, ask; realize the gifts you give to others are thoughtfully chosen by you and it is the thought that counts; realize in today's economy, the giant, perfect, gifts are rare -- and that is really okay -- probably even better; realize that for your family and friends, having you relaxed and happy, rather that stressed out and mad, is a gift in itself.

The best one I know?  Have faith, know it is going to be okay and if someone is disappointed, it isn't about you. Love and love and love some more.

Additionally, there are all kinds of articles with tips to manage stress and here is a link to one of them -- seems like a straightforward article and common sense http://www.todays-women-and-health.com/managing-stress.html 

My wish for you...be happy and have a peaceful, satisfying, comfortable holiday season.

With respect,

DCR  

Is It Complicated?

Today's Truth

You know, I really, really wanted to blog every single week.  I wanted to blog with meaning and sincerity, talking about noble and truthful things.  A good thought, for sure, but what I have found is that I am not moved to write lofty ideals every week.  No, it isn't that I get all down and gloomy, it is just that things happen, schedules change and stuff gets in the way.  Could be called life, what do you think?  So, today, I am moved and I want to share some thoughts...

Is It Complicated?
Is life all that complicated, or do we make it that way.  Some simple concepts have been around forever and still seem to work.
1. Be the best person you can be.  Yep, try to take the high road.
2. Be kind.
3. Take time to be grateful. This is so important.  Gratitude wipes out a lot of junky thoughts..thoughts that really don't improve your life, but lead right back to other downward spiraling thoughts that just perpetuate a feeling of dissatisfaction.
4. Give it your all -- don't hold back your best efforts - in anything.
5. Think about other people -- oh yeah, and put them first sometimes.  Make the phone call; write the caring card; do something nice and don't expect anything back.  Connect face-to-face; take time to build relationships.
6.  If you get angry, take a breath and look at both perspectives -- your own and the other person's.
7. If you don't like something, try to change it.
8. Make life about more than your job -- realize it does not define you, but incorporates your values, talents and passion.
9.  Take time to do things you enjoy -- nature, art shows, theatre, walking on the beach, shopping (within reason), movies, golf, conversations, dinner parties, redecorating... and the list goes on.
10.  Talk to the people you enjoy -- have real conversations.  Let go of the relationships that make you feel bad about yourself -- those negative people that sap your energy.
11.  Don't put off the difficult conversations -- hurt or angry feelings build up.
12.  Don't keep emotional score; don't be an emotional vampire.  Sorry, but it isn't always about you.
13.  Do something creative -- it is fun, offers an immediate sense of accomplishment and lasts.
14.  Figure out your own thoughts on spirituality.
15.  Love yourself and loving others will be a natural consequence.
16.  Help others, through donations, charity work or service.

Not so much...
Well, there you have it.  Not so complicated is it?  We are meant to live a life we enjoy.  I think we make it hard on ourselves sometimes.  I hope these ideas are helpful to you.

Wishing you joy,
DCR

Blahs? Where is the inspiration?

Today's Truth

Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah...Man oh man...have I had a case of the Summer blahs.  Don't mistake me, I have been busy, really, doing something, all the time.  When I came to the realization that I was feeling like I wasn't doing everything "I was supposed to be doing," I knew it was time for reassessment and inspiration.  Great.  My self-questioning led to the bigger question of "where is the inspiration?"  But then, another question popped up, "for what?"  So now I had two questions...where is the inspiration and what would I do with it anyway.  Does any of this sound familiar to you?  Jeez! Or, as my good friend would say, "Cheesits."  I don't why, but that is so hilarious to me.

Assessment: 
I haven't written my blog in a few weeks and it is something I really like to do.  It is important to me to write it and share it and consistency is one of my strengths.  Hmmm.

I haven't really taken the time for friends and family that I usually do (sorry, Mom; sorry, Sis; sorry friends).  I love spending time and sharing ideas with friends and family and they usually end up enjoying the experience, too.  So, Hmmm.

I haven't been reading either -- and if there is one thing I enjoy most and put at the top of my list -- it's reading.  Hmmm.

So, "DCR," I ask myself, "what the heck have you been doing?  Do you see how assessment can lead to a downward spiral? Yeah.

I talked to my ambitious, ever-successful and amazingly resilient and beautiful sister, and as usual, she had the voice of reason and shared it with me.  She is really good like that -- we all need that kind of buddy -- you know, someone who sees it how it is, but somehow takes your side and makes you feel really good about yourself.  What would we do without the people who love us enough to do that?  Thanks, sweetie.

In our conversation she pointed out all the things I had been doing as positive, reasonable and worthwhile and put the best spin on it.  OMG, thank you.  I came to the realization when you have the deep-bend blahs (not so good) and are just wondering and wandering, you don't need a swift kick, you need positive re-enforcement.  She helped me see there was a reason I felt the way I did, (a valid reason, by the way) and I could putter around it or address it, settle it and get back in stride.  I needed to embrace a new course (of thought) and let the old one go and most importantly -- allow life to unfold on this new course.  Goodbye, old pattern.  Goodbye.

I am in that funny place, you know the place, when you are in transition and just waiting?   She helped me realize that it is an OK place to be -- just drive through it slowly and don't park.  We all have times when we look wherever we are looking and just don't see anything.  That is a big clue that it is time to catch your breath; revel in the down time and relax. Take it as it comes and embrace it, find the good in each day and know this stretch of time is temporary.  What you don't want to do is let the transition period get you in a twist. Please take my word for it -- stay positive and talk to people who love and support you.  It helps, it inspires and actually, it gets you out of the blahs and into the next step.  

So, what have I been doing?  I now realize I have had quality time with my grandchildren for the first summer, ever!  I reconnected with old friends I hadn't seen in quite awhile and made several new ones.  New art has been developed and I participated in a new business venture.  I have been swimming everyday and the exercise is great.  I completed several outdoor projects that have been hanging around too long.  I entertained -- it was a fabulous dinner and great conversation -- will be doing it again soon.  All of these are positive and very worthwhile.  

The other night, my husband and I were sitting outside looking at the stars.  I looked at him, and said, "You know, I love our life."   That one sentence, sums it up.  Days come and go, things, jobs and people come and go.  We have seasons to our lives and each one is valuable -- a little jewel. 

When the bad blahs hit and you begin to question yourself -- take it from me, talk to someone who inspires you -- not someone who will tell you what you need to do.  Talk to someone who loves you enough to be honest with you but still champions your viewpoint.  I hope you have someone like that in your life.

With respect and affection,
Diana