Gratitude's the Attitude

Today's Truth


With the holiday, Thanksgiving Day, coming up, my thoughts naturally turn to gratitude.  This time of year a great deal of thought is given to thankfulness, appreciation, respect, generosity.





Serenity, Thad L. Rice, 2009, Rice Agency



What struck me to write about is how gratitude can take many forms.  For it to be a spoken affirmation, is always nice...and a gift is certainly welcome.  Although, what I am most interested in today, is how gratitude is unspoken...that shiny little coin we take out of our pockets and share everyday.

 Gratitude is action.  So, what does that look like?  It is found in caring for an elderly parent or friend.  We share its grace when we keep nagging thoughts to ourselves.  When we consciously do not complain about a co-worker to anyone who will listen -- it is after all a choice -- is, actually, a form of gratitude. 

Once I jumped on this train of thought, I had to smile.  Thankfulness isn't always the supplicated form on bended knee.  (Although, that certainly can't hurt).  Thankfulness can be recognized in our everyday selves -- our kindness, generosity, our ability to put some one's needs before our own.  Even when we can quiet a fear or worry.  I saw a quote once and I hope I am remembering correctly..."Ingratitude is worry in advance."   Hmmm.

Thank you and me, for all of our daily efforts. 
Thanks for the laundry done; asking which show the other person wants to watch; listening when we are too busy; going to all the football games; smiling when we want to snarl; patience at the grocery or bank or cleaners; the ability to hear what is being said and accept it; not rolling our eyes at whatever is said; noticing the mundane daily chores that get done; being brave; facing fear; not always thinking about ourselves; driving with kindness; understanding it is okay to not always be right; saying the kind word; bringing an extra coffee to work; smiling at loud children; understanding it isn't the waiter's fault.  I am sure you get the drift here.  

Once started, this list can go on and on.  I appreciate, deeply, the efforts we all make to be good humans.  Let's give ourselves a little pat on the back, and keep at it.  Happy Thanksgiving...it IS the attitude of gratitude.

With respect,
DCR     

Is It Complicated?

Today's Truth

You know, I really, really wanted to blog every single week.  I wanted to blog with meaning and sincerity, talking about noble and truthful things.  A good thought, for sure, but what I have found is that I am not moved to write lofty ideals every week.  No, it isn't that I get all down and gloomy, it is just that things happen, schedules change and stuff gets in the way.  Could be called life, what do you think?  So, today, I am moved and I want to share some thoughts...

Is It Complicated?
Is life all that complicated, or do we make it that way.  Some simple concepts have been around forever and still seem to work.
1. Be the best person you can be.  Yep, try to take the high road.
2. Be kind.
3. Take time to be grateful. This is so important.  Gratitude wipes out a lot of junky thoughts..thoughts that really don't improve your life, but lead right back to other downward spiraling thoughts that just perpetuate a feeling of dissatisfaction.
4. Give it your all -- don't hold back your best efforts - in anything.
5. Think about other people -- oh yeah, and put them first sometimes.  Make the phone call; write the caring card; do something nice and don't expect anything back.  Connect face-to-face; take time to build relationships.
6.  If you get angry, take a breath and look at both perspectives -- your own and the other person's.
7. If you don't like something, try to change it.
8. Make life about more than your job -- realize it does not define you, but incorporates your values, talents and passion.
9.  Take time to do things you enjoy -- nature, art shows, theatre, walking on the beach, shopping (within reason), movies, golf, conversations, dinner parties, redecorating... and the list goes on.
10.  Talk to the people you enjoy -- have real conversations.  Let go of the relationships that make you feel bad about yourself -- those negative people that sap your energy.
11.  Don't put off the difficult conversations -- hurt or angry feelings build up.
12.  Don't keep emotional score; don't be an emotional vampire.  Sorry, but it isn't always about you.
13.  Do something creative -- it is fun, offers an immediate sense of accomplishment and lasts.
14.  Figure out your own thoughts on spirituality.
15.  Love yourself and loving others will be a natural consequence.
16.  Help others, through donations, charity work or service.

Not so much...
Well, there you have it.  Not so complicated is it?  We are meant to live a life we enjoy.  I think we make it hard on ourselves sometimes.  I hope these ideas are helpful to you.

Wishing you joy,
DCR

Contentment...comforted and satisfied...is that you?

Contentment

Definition: comfort, happiness

Antonyms: discomfort, discontent, displeasure, dissatisfaction, misery, sadness, unhappiness

Do you ever feel contented -- just the wrap your arms around yourself and smile kind of contentment or satisfaction with your life?  I am talking about the "I love my life," kind of joy that comes when you feel your version of safe and happy?

The reason I am asking is that I have run into lots of people lately who seem to have no idea about that kind of feeling.  I was floored with astonishment.  Call me naive, or maybe even a little dense, but I really thought that most people had a handle on happy -- perhaps not both hands around it securely, but a least a now version of it clutched in their fingertips.

If I can share some insight or be helpful, I am always so happy to do it, so that attitude has often led to conversation safety in which people can share stuff with me. In discussing various topics in this blog site, some people have opened up to me and talked about some pretty intimate issues.    You know what I have noticed?  For many, many people, the art of feeling or recognizing contentment with their own lives is missing.  Satisfaction with their lives seems to be illusive and skipping over the next horizon of achievement, love, lover, house, car, honor, title, job, room makeover, self makeover, makeover makeover. Well, I exaggerated that last part a bit, but not much.  This quote by Murray Bookchin sums it up... 

"People are never free of trying to be content." - Murray Bookchin

What is going on?  Do we really not understand what defines us?  Is it a severe case of the if only, as in if only I had chosen that other job or bought that other house or lost that 20 lbs., or (sigh) fallen in love with or married someone else?  Or, do we not have a flippin' clue what we want?

I am running screaming straight into the jungle...waving my arms... see them?  Darlings, each and everyone one...don't you know that you are loved just because you are you? And, please don't miss the fact that YOU can love you, just because you are you.  My God you don't have to work so hard at this.  I want to pat people on the back and say, "it's gonna be okay," then I want to give them a swift kick and whisper through clenched teeth, "work at it."

If we had all the answers all the time, we could all lie around and eat peaches...oooh, with cream.  Discontent is the casual (or not) feeling that something is always not quite right and needs something else to fix it or complete it.  Contentment is knowing that life is flexible and has curves and winding turns and requires our participation...and that we are good for it.  That is the part...the intuition or gut instinct that seems to be missing...that thing that helps us to understand and know that IT IS going to be alright and we can do it, take it, change it, accept it, live with it and move forward.  We are not paralyzed or inadequate or incapable or silly or stupid or afraid to think and act.  We absolutely have the power to make decisions that make us happy.  

That stupid saying so popular right now...No worries...is offered up on a plate like cold gravy.  It is an insult.  It might as well be a bat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what the intent of it is supposed to be.  However, it is the intellectual equivalent of telling someone he or she is half-witted and has miss-stepped."  Ok, I feel better having gotten that off my chest.

Are you really unhappy?  What is it you want?  Please realize that new car probably isn't going to do it for you.  Neither is that new job title or moving to Vermont.  These are symbols of some version of a success script you have written.  Now, I am not saying I don't love a new car like a hug around the neck, but c'mon, if you are just grazing through life's high points to get yourself by until the next one, at some point, you just gotta sit down and turn the gaze inward and ask the difficult questions. Or, how about this, stop all of that and just look up, say, Thanks to the universe and Know.  Know that you have the where-with-all, the guts, the heart, the innate ability for appreciation and gratitude for your life...and that... that carries with it the grace to feel peace. 

Yep, here is my take on it...we have to work at peace and contentment, if only through the thoughts and actions of gratitude.  Gratitude and appreciation will move you from self-pity to the recognition of all that you have in your possession.  When we get a real understanding of that big picture, the steps we need to take, come.  When we take the steps, we feel empowered, our self-esteem rises and we feel even better. It really is very simple, so let's stop beating ourselves up...okay?  Step by step, know.  Step by step, appreciate.  Step by step, love.  Step by step, think.  Step by step, feel the love and strength and goodness that surrounds you.  Step by step, you will know what to do.

Love you!

Diana  

What Is My Truth Today.. WIMTT? 1/19/10

Everyday we search for our own truths -- to make sense out of what surrounds us -- relationships, connections, interests, media, environment, the wishes of our hearts -- the human landscape. I came up with the idea of asking myself, on a daily basis, What Is My Truth Today...WIMTT? In sharing/posting these ideas I am hoping to encourage readers to begin to recognize their own truths -- daily discoveries that nourish themselves and others. The wholeness of truth is revitalizing and opens the door to new avenues of peace, security and courage. Truth reinvents and revisions purpose. It is a fresh, new look.

What is My Truth Today...WIMTT?
I have been really interested in the blog exchange for some time, but felt a bit intimidated by the process and frankly, wondered what I could offer on it. Today, with my son's help, I have a blog; a fantastic idea to share for the good of the order and the absolute joy of a pat on my own back for taking this step. Today, my son helped a wish become a reality -- which is very, very cool -- my sincere and heartfelt thanks to you. Today, I know 1000% more about blogging than I did yesterday and am actually willing to learn more. All in all, a very good day. I hope this exchange ecourages you to discover your own truths and not only share them, but share the gratitude for them... with yourself, with friends, family, colleagues... and me.