Friday, February 26, 2010

You just ticked away your relationship...

Today...Tick, Tock...

Something occurred to me yesterday -- hardly a revolutionary thought, but one that went thump -- the type of inner call (brrrrinnng!) that gets my attention, everytime.   

We spend so much time with technology that we have removed ourselves from actual people.  I love FB; the convenience of emails -- spend some time texting and have a laptop and smartphone.  My work is computer-centered, writing articles, two blogs, editing four more and producing volumes of marketing materials, etc.  Follow this link to youtube video with data on the growth of social media.

Many of us rarely make time to see friends anymore and sadly, we have nudged that habit over to our significant partners. 

We are bound, people, tied... to our social media on computers and cellphones.  We have learned to mentally gyrate to the vibrations of technology rather than the nuance of face-to-face communication.  Holy crocus in a pottery bowl! as someone dear to me would say.

Tick-tock, people.  Ask yourself, how many hours at night or on the weekends do you spend texting, emailing, FB'ng, or working on the computer?  How much time do you spend yaking with someone else...and not the person with whom you are in a committed relationship?

"Remember back to when your heart was open."...DCR

Then, ask yourself another question.  How comforting is your computer?  Did your cell phone give you a high-five when you landed that job?  When your mom was sick, did the laptop hold you and tell you it would be alright?  Nope, hopefully, your significant other, or committed partner, did that.

I feel compelled to share this with you...the intimacy of your relationship can erode if you don't spend quality time together.  The good news, it won't take a great big effort to change it -- consistent effort, yes -- horrible and anxiety-ridden effort, no.  Once or twice a week, spend 2-4 hours talking with your main squeeze and focus on that person. 

Here is something simple you can do and it serves as dinner:

Some evening during the week, grab some cheeses, olives, crackers, veggies, nuts and two of your favorite beverages.  Take a few minutes to arrange it all pleasantly on a cheeseboard and plates -- NOT at the dining room table.  Place it in a comfortable area where you don't usually sit together and will have some privacy. (Funny how we only use those cozy little spaces for guests at our parties).  If you have kids, give them some nachos and cheese spread in another room.  (You know what I mean, here, right?).  This isn't a commentary on food, but on some no-tension quality time for you and your love. 

Give yourselves a couple of hours to munch and sip and talk -- do not chew over problems, or big projects, or anything that changes the energy to a negative space.  Remember back to when it was all new and your heart was open and your head was interested in this fascinating other person.

Why does the senario above work?  Well, for one... it takes some time to eat these little appetizers -- spread the cheese on the crackers, take a sip, talk.  Grab an olive, munch, take a sip, get the idea. For another... you are working at it -- making an effort to keep the intimate, one-human-being-to-another connection, alive.

Relationships are like anything else...left untended, they don't grow.  Ignored, they wither.  Ignored enough, they fade, bite-the-dust...cease to be, finito.

Tick-tock, tick-tock...

Heck, I don't care if it's JuJubees and juice, try it this weekend!

Happy Friday,


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