Yesterday is gone -- aggressively take from it the best and positive and leave the rest -- it doesn't help our attitudes to constantly have that "could have... should have... conversation with ourselves". It leaves us feeling inadequate when we continually tell ourselves that things would have worked out better if we had said or done something differently. We didn't, so what? Today is new. Tomorrow isn't yet, so we have today to make our choices.
Choose to be on your own side...
Gosh, can't we all be hard on ourselves? Soul-search and figure out what inner voice tape keeps running on a loop in your mind -- fear, anger, worry, jealousy? Negative thoughts cause negative emotions and that makes us feel bad. Simple, huh? Recognize and identify what is causing you to feel badly, don't just react to it. Replace those negative thoughts, one at a time, with good ones... about yourself, your life, your job, your spouse, your family or... fill in the blank that works for you.
Ooooh, this can be a toughie. Here it is...no one, let me repeat, no one, is responsible for you, but you. Your husband/wife, best friend, boss, mother/dad or cousin Sue aren't living your life. You are the only person making the decisions about your life. You are walking along your own individual life/growth path. Sure, you can share life with other people, think of a track field with all the different lanes, but please notice that you are the only one in your lane. Be conscious of your own mind, your behavior, your actions, your reactions. These make up your day-to-day experience and ultimately, your happiness or dissatisfaction. And, after all, that is what unhappiness is...when you are not satisfied with yourself, someone else, or something else. By the way, if you choose to give away the responsibility for your happiness/life to someone else, that person will often get tired of carrying around that responsibility... and give it back, unpleasantly.
You have a right to be who you are and live up to your own expectations. Get your thoughts, hopes, dreams and actions into alignment. Put yourself in a quiet location and let your mind wander. Accept all the feelings that come up and use them to identify both the positive and negative thoughts. Acknowledge negative thoughts, one at a time, and replace each one with a positive self statement. This is one way to figure out what it is you want or need to change in your life. The picture will get clear and you will get a good view of your own expectations and realize that these are the only ones you need to live up to...no one else's expectations really matter in the long run.
Decide to live with purpose...
- Determine that you have the power to achieve your happiness (this often involves goals)
- Determine that you are taking responsibility for your happiness
- Identify your action steps necessary to move toward happiness and away from dissatisfaction
- Check yourself often (thoughts, behavior, actions) to see if you are on track
- Develop an attitude of gratitude
- Spread some kindness
- Stop making everyone else's life revolve around yours and do something good for someone else
- Give yourself a treat everyday and enjoy it (not necessarily food or jewelry :)
- Don't obsess over the lack of anything...(fill in the blank here -- what is it you think you don't have enough of, or what is missing?)
- Live for today and let tomorrow take care of itself. You will have what you need.
- Don't compare yourself or your life to anyone else's
- Make the time to interact with people who make you feel good
- Don't have any time to interact with people who make you feel bad about yourself
- Don't carry the world on your shoulders
- Work at your faith and find your truth, whatever that is