Gratitude's the Attitude

Today's Truth


With the holiday, Thanksgiving Day, coming up, my thoughts naturally turn to gratitude.  This time of year a great deal of thought is given to thankfulness, appreciation, respect, generosity.





Serenity, Thad L. Rice, 2009, Rice Agency



What struck me to write about is how gratitude can take many forms.  For it to be a spoken affirmation, is always nice...and a gift is certainly welcome.  Although, what I am most interested in today, is how gratitude is unspoken...that shiny little coin we take out of our pockets and share everyday.

 Gratitude is action.  So, what does that look like?  It is found in caring for an elderly parent or friend.  We share its grace when we keep nagging thoughts to ourselves.  When we consciously do not complain about a co-worker to anyone who will listen -- it is after all a choice -- is, actually, a form of gratitude. 

Once I jumped on this train of thought, I had to smile.  Thankfulness isn't always the supplicated form on bended knee.  (Although, that certainly can't hurt).  Thankfulness can be recognized in our everyday selves -- our kindness, generosity, our ability to put some one's needs before our own.  Even when we can quiet a fear or worry.  I saw a quote once and I hope I am remembering correctly..."Ingratitude is worry in advance."   Hmmm.

Thank you and me, for all of our daily efforts. 
Thanks for the laundry done; asking which show the other person wants to watch; listening when we are too busy; going to all the football games; smiling when we want to snarl; patience at the grocery or bank or cleaners; the ability to hear what is being said and accept it; not rolling our eyes at whatever is said; noticing the mundane daily chores that get done; being brave; facing fear; not always thinking about ourselves; driving with kindness; understanding it is okay to not always be right; saying the kind word; bringing an extra coffee to work; smiling at loud children; understanding it isn't the waiter's fault.  I am sure you get the drift here.  

Once started, this list can go on and on.  I appreciate, deeply, the efforts we all make to be good humans.  Let's give ourselves a little pat on the back, and keep at it.  Happy Thanksgiving...it IS the attitude of gratitude.

With respect,
DCR     

Is It Complicated?

Today's Truth

You know, I really, really wanted to blog every single week.  I wanted to blog with meaning and sincerity, talking about noble and truthful things.  A good thought, for sure, but what I have found is that I am not moved to write lofty ideals every week.  No, it isn't that I get all down and gloomy, it is just that things happen, schedules change and stuff gets in the way.  Could be called life, what do you think?  So, today, I am moved and I want to share some thoughts...

Is It Complicated?
Is life all that complicated, or do we make it that way.  Some simple concepts have been around forever and still seem to work.
1. Be the best person you can be.  Yep, try to take the high road.
2. Be kind.
3. Take time to be grateful. This is so important.  Gratitude wipes out a lot of junky thoughts..thoughts that really don't improve your life, but lead right back to other downward spiraling thoughts that just perpetuate a feeling of dissatisfaction.
4. Give it your all -- don't hold back your best efforts - in anything.
5. Think about other people -- oh yeah, and put them first sometimes.  Make the phone call; write the caring card; do something nice and don't expect anything back.  Connect face-to-face; take time to build relationships.
6.  If you get angry, take a breath and look at both perspectives -- your own and the other person's.
7. If you don't like something, try to change it.
8. Make life about more than your job -- realize it does not define you, but incorporates your values, talents and passion.
9.  Take time to do things you enjoy -- nature, art shows, theatre, walking on the beach, shopping (within reason), movies, golf, conversations, dinner parties, redecorating... and the list goes on.
10.  Talk to the people you enjoy -- have real conversations.  Let go of the relationships that make you feel bad about yourself -- those negative people that sap your energy.
11.  Don't put off the difficult conversations -- hurt or angry feelings build up.
12.  Don't keep emotional score; don't be an emotional vampire.  Sorry, but it isn't always about you.
13.  Do something creative -- it is fun, offers an immediate sense of accomplishment and lasts.
14.  Figure out your own thoughts on spirituality.
15.  Love yourself and loving others will be a natural consequence.
16.  Help others, through donations, charity work or service.

Not so much...
Well, there you have it.  Not so complicated is it?  We are meant to live a life we enjoy.  I think we make it hard on ourselves sometimes.  I hope these ideas are helpful to you.

Wishing you joy,
DCR

You just ticked away your relationship...

Today...Tick, Tock...

Something occurred to me yesterday -- hardly a revolutionary thought, but one that went thump -- the type of inner call (brrrrinnng!) that gets my attention, everytime.   

We spend so much time with technology that we have removed ourselves from actual people.  I love FB; the convenience of emails -- spend some time texting and have a laptop and smartphone.  My work is computer-centered, writing articles, two blogs, editing four more and producing volumes of marketing materials, etc.  Follow this link to youtube video with data on the growth of social media.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIFYPQjYhv8&feature=player_embedded

Many of us rarely make time to see friends anymore and sadly, we have nudged that habit over to our significant partners. 

We are bound, people, tied... to our social media on computers and cellphones.  We have learned to mentally gyrate to the vibrations of technology rather than the nuance of face-to-face communication.  Holy crocus in a pottery bowl! as someone dear to me would say.

Tick-tock, people.  Ask yourself, how many hours at night or on the weekends do you spend texting, emailing, FB'ng, or working on the computer?  How much time do you spend yaking with someone else...and not the person with whom you are in a committed relationship?

"Remember back to when your heart was open."...DCR

Then, ask yourself another question.  How comforting is your computer?  Did your cell phone give you a high-five when you landed that job?  When your mom was sick, did the laptop hold you and tell you it would be alright?  Nope, hopefully, your significant other, or committed partner, did that.

I feel compelled to share this with you...the intimacy of your relationship can erode if you don't spend quality time together.  The good news, it won't take a great big effort to change it -- consistent effort, yes -- horrible and anxiety-ridden effort, no.  Once or twice a week, spend 2-4 hours talking with your main squeeze and focus on that person. 

Here is something simple you can do and it serves as dinner:

Some evening during the week, grab some cheeses, olives, crackers, veggies, nuts and two of your favorite beverages.  Take a few minutes to arrange it all pleasantly on a cheeseboard and plates -- NOT at the dining room table.  Place it in a comfortable area where you don't usually sit together and will have some privacy. (Funny how we only use those cozy little spaces for guests at our parties).  If you have kids, give them some nachos and cheese spread in another room.  (You know what I mean, here, right?).  This isn't a commentary on food, but on some no-tension quality time for you and your love. 

Give yourselves a couple of hours to munch and sip and talk -- do not chew over problems, or big projects, or anything that changes the energy to a negative space.  Remember back to when it was all new and your heart was open and your head was interested in this fascinating other person.

Why does the senario above work?  Well, for one... it takes some time to eat these little appetizers -- spread the cheese on the crackers, take a sip, talk.  Grab an olive, munch, take a sip, talk...you get the idea. For another... you are working at it -- making an effort to keep the intimate, one-human-being-to-another connection, alive.

Relationships are like anything else...left untended, they don't grow.  Ignored, they wither.  Ignored enough, they fade, bite-the-dust...cease to be, finito.

Tick-tock, tick-tock...

Heck, I don't care if it's JuJubees and juice, try it this weekend!

Happy Friday,
Diana


   

What Is My Truth Today.. WIMTT? 1/22/10

What is My Truth Today...WIMTT?My friend, Patti, sent me the item below to share...

PERCEPTION... Something To Think About...This is apparently a true story that a friend said she verified on snopes.com!
Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.
4 minutes later:The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.
6 minutes later:A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
10 minutes later:
A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.
45 minutes later:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.
1 hour later:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.
This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.
The questions raised:• In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?
• Do we stop to appreciate it?
• Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?
One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made.......
How many other things are we missing?