What we tell ourselves...

Today's Truth

Summer is really over, isn't it?  I have taken quite the break, for a variety of reasons, but now it is time to get back into the swing of things.  Might I add it takes a bit of discipline to stick with blogging, even with the best of intentions.  I found all sorts of reasons not to post that I happily validated. Well, that isn't true, I wasn't so happy about it, but the excuses worked and were well-rationalized.  I swear to you, that as I am writing this, I am eating Triscuit crackers and those little round cheese things that you have to peel.  Ask me and I will tell you, "No, I wasn't postponing writing, I was hungry."  Uh huh.  It tastes pretty good, by the way. Here's some info about Triscuits -- they are pretty tasty and not a bad snack:  http://www.nabiscoworld.com/triscuit/ and here is the site for the cheese. 

I like mini babybel. http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images?_adv_prop=image&fr=yhs-avg&va=mini+babybell+cheese

Okay, okay.  All of this is a lead into what I want to blog about...that almost terrorizing topic of...what we tell ourselves.  I think I will tackle the negative side first.  Some of you may recognize these...

I will get to that (whatever it is) tomorrow.  First thing in the morning, I will call so and so.  After this project is finished, I will eat better or start walking or spend more time with my family or start a sports program or take a class.  Want to go deeper?  When I lose this weight, I will be happier; when the boss sees what I can really do, I can ask for a raise; if I weren't so busy, I could ask Sally to go out to lunch and see what is bothering her; there will be other games, I have the whole season to watch Johnny; it doesn't matter what I think, so why even try to explain.

Now for the positive ...

Do you recognize any of this?  I do.  This is exactly how I arrived at it being okay for me not to post my blog all summer. We are talking three months here.  Is it the end of the world?  Well, no, but, I don't feel good about it.  I feel guilty.  There's the rub.  We tell ourselves...or give ourselves permission... to put off activities, personal relationships, our own growth and general feeling of well-being for what? I don't know, every situation is different.  But the question to ask is...is it worth it?  Or even better, how do I recognize that is what I am doing.

No, I don't think it is the best idea to plan out our every move, but some lists aren't such a bad idea.  When we were discussing my lack of blogging, my brilliant son told me, (the self-admitted queen of organization), "Mom, make a list of topics you want to talk about -- start with just four for the first month."  Did I mention that he is brilliant?  He told me this months ago.  Finally,  I just did it this past Tuesday.  And look, here I am blogging again.  Smart little guy isn't he?  He is a grown man, but he is still my smart little guy, especially when he gives me excellent advice that works.  Thank you, son.

So, my point.  Listen to your own self-talk.  What are you telling yourself?  Does it hang on a mental hook in the back of your mind?  Take it off the hook and put it down on paper.  Take time to write it down and then figure out what part of it you really want to throw out and what part needs some action. We do this all the time for our work, why not for ourselves?  It is kind of cool to have that conversation with yourself and actualize it on paper.  You could even put some goals and dates next to things.  How do we get things done?  We take action.  How do we take action?  We know what we want to do.  How do we know what we want to do?  We think about it and spend some time with each idea and then make decisions and then, formulate a plan.  You keep some stuff and throw out some stuff.  And, the really great thing about a plan?  You can change it.  It is adaptable, a good plan isn't written in stone -- it is flexible.  I think that is what scares us sometimes about writing down goals and even desires -- we feel it a certain commitment.  Guess what?  You can change your mind.  The main thing is to recognize (be aware of) what you are telling yourself about anything...anything at all.

And, did you know, that you can pick up the Triscuit crumbs in the bottom of the bowl with the cheese?  I am laughing so hard.

Let me know what you think.  I know checking in with my self-talk is a very good thing and, hopefully, it will benefit you to recognize yours and take some action.

My greatest intention is to help you.

Warm regards,
Diana

Blahs? Where is the inspiration?

Today's Truth

Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah...Man oh man...have I had a case of the Summer blahs.  Don't mistake me, I have been busy, really, doing something, all the time.  When I came to the realization that I was feeling like I wasn't doing everything "I was supposed to be doing," I knew it was time for reassessment and inspiration.  Great.  My self-questioning led to the bigger question of "where is the inspiration?"  But then, another question popped up, "for what?"  So now I had two questions...where is the inspiration and what would I do with it anyway.  Does any of this sound familiar to you?  Jeez! Or, as my good friend would say, "Cheesits."  I don't why, but that is so hilarious to me.

Assessment: 
I haven't written my blog in a few weeks and it is something I really like to do.  It is important to me to write it and share it and consistency is one of my strengths.  Hmmm.

I haven't really taken the time for friends and family that I usually do (sorry, Mom; sorry, Sis; sorry friends).  I love spending time and sharing ideas with friends and family and they usually end up enjoying the experience, too.  So, Hmmm.

I haven't been reading either -- and if there is one thing I enjoy most and put at the top of my list -- it's reading.  Hmmm.

So, "DCR," I ask myself, "what the heck have you been doing?  Do you see how assessment can lead to a downward spiral? Yeah.

I talked to my ambitious, ever-successful and amazingly resilient and beautiful sister, and as usual, she had the voice of reason and shared it with me.  She is really good like that -- we all need that kind of buddy -- you know, someone who sees it how it is, but somehow takes your side and makes you feel really good about yourself.  What would we do without the people who love us enough to do that?  Thanks, sweetie.

In our conversation she pointed out all the things I had been doing as positive, reasonable and worthwhile and put the best spin on it.  OMG, thank you.  I came to the realization when you have the deep-bend blahs (not so good) and are just wondering and wandering, you don't need a swift kick, you need positive re-enforcement.  She helped me see there was a reason I felt the way I did, (a valid reason, by the way) and I could putter around it or address it, settle it and get back in stride.  I needed to embrace a new course (of thought) and let the old one go and most importantly -- allow life to unfold on this new course.  Goodbye, old pattern.  Goodbye.

I am in that funny place, you know the place, when you are in transition and just waiting?   She helped me realize that it is an OK place to be -- just drive through it slowly and don't park.  We all have times when we look wherever we are looking and just don't see anything.  That is a big clue that it is time to catch your breath; revel in the down time and relax. Take it as it comes and embrace it, find the good in each day and know this stretch of time is temporary.  What you don't want to do is let the transition period get you in a twist. Please take my word for it -- stay positive and talk to people who love and support you.  It helps, it inspires and actually, it gets you out of the blahs and into the next step.  

So, what have I been doing?  I now realize I have had quality time with my grandchildren for the first summer, ever!  I reconnected with old friends I hadn't seen in quite awhile and made several new ones.  New art has been developed and I participated in a new business venture.  I have been swimming everyday and the exercise is great.  I completed several outdoor projects that have been hanging around too long.  I entertained -- it was a fabulous dinner and great conversation -- will be doing it again soon.  All of these are positive and very worthwhile.  

The other night, my husband and I were sitting outside looking at the stars.  I looked at him, and said, "You know, I love our life."   That one sentence, sums it up.  Days come and go, things, jobs and people come and go.  We have seasons to our lives and each one is valuable -- a little jewel. 

When the bad blahs hit and you begin to question yourself -- take it from me, talk to someone who inspires you -- not someone who will tell you what you need to do.  Talk to someone who loves you enough to be honest with you but still champions your viewpoint.  I hope you have someone like that in your life.

With respect and affection,
Diana