Thursday, September 23, 2010

What we tell ourselves...

Today's Truth
Summer is really over, isn't it?  I have taken quite the break, for a variety of reasons, but now it is time to get back into the swing of things.  Might I add it takes a bit of discipline to stick with blogging, even with the best of intentions.  I found all sorts of reasons not to post that I happily validated. Well, that isn't true, I wasn't so happy about it, but the excuses worked and were well-rationalized.  I swear to you, that as I am writing this, I am eating Triscuit crackers and those little round cheese things that you have to peel.  Ask me and I will tell you, "No, I wasn't postponing writing, I was hungry."  Uh huh.  It tastes pretty good, by the way. Here's some info about Triscuits -- they are pretty tasty and not a bad snack: and here is the site for the cheese. 

Okay, okay.  All of this is a lead into what I want to blog about...that almost terrorizing topic of...what we tell ourselves.  I think I will tackle the negative side first.  Some of you may recognize these...

I will get to that (whatever it is) tomorrow.  First thing in the morning, I will call so and so.  After this project is finished, I will eat better or start walking or spend more time with my family or start a sports program or take a class.  Want to go deeper?  When I lose this weight, I will be happier; when the boss sees what I can really do, I can ask for a raise; if I weren't so busy, I could ask Sally to go out to lunch and see what is bothering her; there will be other games, I have the whole season to watch Johnny; it doesn't matter what I think, so why even try to explain.

Now for the positive ...

Do you recognize any of this?  I do.  This is exactly how I arrived at it being okay for me not to post my blog all summer. We are talking three months here.  Is it the end of the world?  Well, no, but, I don't feel good about it.  I feel guilty.  There's the rub.  We tell ourselves...or give ourselves permission... to put off activities, personal relationships, our own growth and general feeling of well-being for what? I don't know, every situation is different.  But the question to ask it worth it?  Or even better, how do I recognize that is what I am doing.

No, I don't think it is the best idea to plan out our every move, but some lists aren't such a bad idea.  When we were discussing my lack of blogging, my brilliant son told me, (the self-admitted queen of organization), "Mom, make a list of topics you want to talk about -- start with just four for the first month."  Did I mention that he is brilliant?  He told me this months ago.  Finally,  I just did it this past Tuesday.  And look, here I am blogging again.  Smart little guy isn't he?  He is a grown man, but he is still my smart little guy, especially when he gives me excellent advice that works.  Thank you, son.

So, my point.  Listen to your own self-talk.  What are you telling yourself?  Does it hang on a mental hook in the back of your mind?  Take it off the hook and put it down on paper.  Take time to write it down and then figure out what part of it you really want to throw out and what part needs some action. We do this all the time for our work, why not for ourselves?  It is kind of cool to have that conversation with yourself and actualize it on paper.  You could even put some goals and dates next to things.  How do we get things done?  We take action.  How do we take action?  We know what we want to do.  How do we know what we want to do?  We think about it and spend some time with each idea and then make decisions and then, formulate a plan.  You keep some stuff and throw out some stuff.  And, the really great thing about a plan?  You can change it.  It is adaptable, a good plan isn't written in stone -- it is flexible.  I think that is what scares us sometimes about writing down goals and even desires -- we feel it a certain commitment.  Guess what?  You can change your mind.  The main thing is to recognize (be aware of) what you are telling yourself about anything...anything at all.

And, did you know, that you can pick up the Triscuit crumbs in the bottom of the bowl with the cheese?  I am laughing so hard.

Let me know what you think.  I know checking in with my self-talk is a very good thing and, hopefully, it will benefit you to recognize yours and take some action.

My greatest intention is to help you.

Warm regards,

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