Happiness...how to find it and keep it...

Today
Happiness

Elusive, future, not, past...words often used in connection to the word happiness.

It is a startling question to ask yourself seriously, Am I happy? It could bring to mind the bumpy road, an uncomfortable squirm or a sarcastic jibe -- as in, "yeah, right."

Taking it a step further and making it more than a passing wonderment will require other questions...i.e., what needs to take place in my thinking to change my happiness connectivity words from... elusive, future, not, past...to...within my possession, now, yes and now?

"You will always be you...figure out how to love who you are." -- DCR

I have a few simple ideas on the topic -- all solution-oriented. I'll share:

• Try different things -- challenges create new opportunities to learn, stretch and grow
• Surround yourself with positive people -- people who add to your sense of happiness
• Say goodbye to people/friends who constantly tell you that you should be a different person -- it usually has something to do with their agenda. Kick them to the curb -- (my version...wish them well and move on)
• Gratitude and Blessings -- make time to recognize these in your life, everyday, and express them
• Connect -- spend time with people you love or with those you enjoy
• Tolerance and Acceptance -- we cannot control the universe and everyone in it. If we all wore pink bowties it would be boring. Live and let live. Embrace our differences
• If you have a weakness, bad habit or trait that you allow to stop your happiness, change it or learn to live with it

• Slow down -- take a load off your schedule, calendar, activity list. Stop breezing through everything you do and ask yourself...Is this necessary? Do I enjoy this? How do I feel about this? Do I love this?
• Love yourself, Treat yourself -- can't say this one enough... You will always be you...figure out how to love who you are
• Realize there will always be critics -- unreservedly love yourself
• Run straight toward the fear...stomp it, kick it, master it, control it
• Acknowledge that you deserve to be happy. Feel it, recognize it, make it real
• Do stuff you love -- make time to DO the things that make you happy -- art, reading, sports, writing, walking the dog, gardening, museums, galleries, antiquing...
• Get over yourself -- uncomfortable, difficult and very sad things happen to every single one of us. Life also involves all of us. Each and every person has their own perspective -- honor that
• Laugh at yourself
• If you have children, love them with your whole being
• Be very, very kind
• Be gracious and teach graciousness -- it is a dying art
• Get up, look in the mirror and answer the questions you see there -- have courage, you are loved by the universe.

Consider reading The Happiness Project a book by Gretchin Rubin and her blog of the same name.

There's the long-running Harvard Study of Adult Development, (began in 1937) profiled in an interesting piece, "What Makes Us Happy?" June 2009 Atlantic Monthly. It appears achieving or explaining happiness can be as complex for men as for women.

Here's to you!
With happiness and respect,
DCR

Your core beliefs define who you are...

Today
You know, the longer amount of time I spend in this life, the more important it has become to me to value not only who I am, but continually work at expressing my life values or personal standards.

What? What are life values?  Personal standards...you know, those thoughts and actions that you deem acceptable to yourself -- a personal code of conduct that has expanded to include your mental realm as well. In other words -- our convictions -- what we believe is important and desirable in attitude and behavior.  Instrumental values are convictions about our desired character and behavior.  And, guess what, these can't be expressed in a vacuum -- we need other people to help implement the values we have identified as important to us.  It is demonstrated in what we think about other people and how we act towards them.  

How in the heck do you decide on your own personal set of core values?  How do you identify, clarify and and focus on your own values? The first step is enhanced self-awareness.  We can ask ourselves questions. This link offers good suggestions to help you determine what is important to you.

"How do you know who you are?" -- DCR

Why does it matter?

Decisions about our ethics and moral philosophy all come from our value choices. When we act with truth (integrity) and our priorities are in line with our chosen values, self-esteem is improved and we move toward implementing the keys to our own happiness.

Consider this...your "code" is how you think you should live your life -- the principles, standards, qualities, beliefs, characteristics -- what you hold important in life -- not materially or financially -- it is what defines you as a person.

And consider this, too...If you are wondering around with an undefined character, how do you know who you are, what you stand for, or how you will react in any given situation?

Hey, think about all this and decide for yourself.  Hmmm.

Thank you to Rice Agency for the use of the beautiful photo.